Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Fall of Troy and the Frigid Penalties of NCAA's USC Summertime Spanking

Today, the NCAA Division I Committee on Infractions announced the punishment to be exerted upon the University of Southern California, South Central for violations in men's football and basketball as well as women's tennis.

The verdict is not pleasant and the penalties are just frigid.

Best way to describe how USC shall fair on the football and basketball fronts for the next few seasons...totally fucked.

Due to the disregard of NCAA rules and regulations involving student athletes, coaches, and professional agents; USC shall weather a four year probation under the NCAA.

And that's not the worst.  The Trojan bandwagon is sure to lighten it's load over this...

Lane Kiffin's Trojans won't see the post-season for two years due to an NCAA ban.
He'll also be operating with 10 less scholarships for the next three seasons each season.

Nothing quite like karma eh?  Promise a swift victory to troubled Tennessee over the Gators the next season only to jump ship and hop coasts?  We'll Lane, you would have played in bowl games during 2010 and 2011 waving the Volunteer's flag, but now you'll just have a longer vacation while sporting the Maroon Stain...joy!

Yet the fun continues to roll on...

According to the report, "student athlete 1" most likely Reggie Bush, in association with his parents and "partners" formed a sports agency from October 2004 to November 2005.  Receiving benefits from cash to cars, travel expenses and hotel lodging, and housing (with a washer a dryer!); Bush and company through these transactions and proven by the receipts accomplished nothing more than sealing his ineligibility for the 2005 season (post season included).

Remember what happened to Reggie Bush in 2005?  Or rather, at the end of the 2005 season.
He received the Heisman Trophy.

Now, it's time for some conceptual math.

Heisman Trophy season - Ineligibility = No Heisman Trophy...right?

Well no wonder Bush has already released a statement on the matter.

"I am disappointed by today's decision and disagree with the NCAA's findings. If the University decides to appeal, I will continue to cooperate with the NCAA and USC, as I did during the investigation," reported USA Today.

However, if Bush does "continue to cooperate" as he did during the investigation, he may find himself losing more than his trophy and the illustrious victories the team must forfeit due to his involvement (14 in total from the 2005 Orange Bowl throughout the 2005 season).

Here's how the NCAA stated Mr. Bush cooperated, "Although the former football student-athlete participated in an interview with the enforcement staff, he refused to cooperate fully with the investigation. He failed to provide the requested information that, if it existed, could have substantiated his claim that he was not involved in NCAA rules violations."

Nothing like saving face by shaving grace huh?

And after all that jive and jargon L.A., with Petros driving down this issue like a railroad spike, who was right in the end?  Vague bandwagon assumptions?  Or educated assumptions tethered by misinformation and half-assed cooperation?


...more to come, the report is 67 pages which can be found here.

Friday, February 26, 2010

The Compton Cookout Clowns

Less than two weeks ago a wily group of collegiate sycophants congregated just a mile from the University of California at San Diego in chic La Jolla, for a "Compton Cookout."

Hours from the heart of LA with 40s flowing and extra-large shirts in the triple "x", these prestigious college clowns walked, talked, and acted, every bit of "black" as MTV has taught them to be.  All they forgot were they're clown-shoe kicks in patent leather and rainbow afros.

Since then, the racially insensible party has created a maelstrom of gossip on the campus, through the wires, and in print.

Some have described the party as "racist", others "intolerant" or "hateful," but no one has properly labeled this white-bred suburban-sheltered catastrophe for what it was...stupid.

Yet to a Southern California native of Generation Y, this comes as no surprise; I grew up with these idiots.  And one thing you get use to quick around here is stupidity, and it is just as it does.

Allegedly organized by, Jiggaboo Jones, the event can't necessarily be deemed racist.  Just take a few moments to check this fool.  Though dogs eat dogs, they don't hate on each they feed off each other.

After some laughs of my own I collected my senses and gave Jigga a good look.  One thing is definitely certain with this guy, his blacksploitation accent's as fake as those Jheri curls.  What the shit is a "nehigga" @ 1:19, can't you pronounce none Jigga?

Time for some pull-quotes obtained from the invitation; just goes to show these kids never been to no hood.

"All males to be rockin Jersey's, stuntin' up in ya White T...anything FUBU, Ecko, Rockawear, High/low top Jordans or Dunks, Chians, Jorts, stunner shades, 59 50 hats, Tats, etc."

"For those who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks - Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes - they consider Baby Phat to be high class and expensive couture.  They also have short, nappy hair, and usually wear cheap weave, usually in bad colors, such as purple or bright red."

"They look at act smiliar to Shenaynay, and speak very loudly, while rolling their neck, and waving their finger in your face."

"Ghetto chicks have a very limited vocabulary, and attempt to make up for it, by forming new words, such as "constipulated", or simply cursing persistently.

"Several of the regents condos will be teaming up to house this monstrosity, so travel house to house and experience the various elements of life in the ghetto." 

 I have not a clue how the authors of this got into a UC, but a few things are clear.  In the perpetually sheltered minds of these idiots; to be a ghetto chick is to imitate Martin Lawrence cross dressing, Anglish don't need no proper punctuation, and a condo cookout on a Monday afternoon with no food but all you can drink is a great way to experience ghetto life.

Do us all a favor before you leave that university Compton Cookout Clowns, acid wash your genes.  You have a great molecular biology program there, they'll help clean your slate for all humanity.

Friday, January 29, 2010

State of the Union

America's played a trip on my mind, not just lately, but since I started noticing those small cues of our issues.

And issues we have.  Issues of security caused by a sense of fear.  Issues of image, caused by a sense of belonging.  Issues of intellect, caused by a senseless taste.

But where did it all begin?  Our "modern" or at least present times.

The frontier's been paved over for a century, a century before that we finally reached its end.  Progress has partly brought us here.

Booms in population spurred by war have bulked our nation double-over since the 1950s.  Population has partly brought us here.

But despite how much times and appearances change, the back beat currents of humanity remain the same.

For only a half century as destructive as the early 1900's could lead to such calm as the 1950's on.  Yet within those decades themselves, old friends and new fears clinched their iron grasp upon the world around them.  Leaving Atlas, alas, holding aloft our powder keg we call Earth in sheer terror of self-destruction by its inhabited people captivated solely by a dish of fear and loathing garnished by irreconcilable differences between ideas and creeds, big weapons, but weak trigger fingers.  A Cold War indeed.

Yet over the past few decades, American culture has been washed dirty, abash through a relentless drive for image without substance or substance on the rocks.  The remnant current of the counter-culture  in the American mainstream; drug up, tune in, and drop out.

American zeitgeist has shifted to apathy and lethargy, for no longer are we filled with fright and spite.

Sure we've scared of al-Qaeda and bin Laden, but fuck it, they're not across the street, they don't have a stockpile of nukes, we're not gettin' drafted, and they're poor.  Just pass up on the increasingly financial burden of airplane flights for cars and trains again, America on rewind.

Only watch TV that has no news value what-so-ever to avoid the scare-city that has become mainstream media.  Entertainment Kool-aid.

...and fuck reading, right?

Amidst terror, economic fallout, and the coming of the shrewd; Americans have weathered a hurricane decade ringing in the new millennium.  And where do we find ourselves now?  But in the eye of the storm.

Even now, as the body count in Haiti continues to climb, and the rains return to California, a perpetual veil guises the average attention of America.  The audience in Plato's Cave, deer caught in headlights, catatonia con carne.

Ever seen a half-drunk half-baked kid cruising down a rain-swept freeway hauling ass, 80 to 90 plus as if on a clear and dry day at the track?  It's more than luck which guides his wheel, fate for some reason is on the side of the stupid it appears.

But how?...to what charade can we conclude this bizarre circus we find ourselves in?

A mixed bag of sorts.  Individualism on high with acceptance on low.

For years, decades even, Americans the world over have starved their news appetite.  A civilization uninformed of the world around them, yet captivated by the manifestations of their own creations; our worst traits inherited by our Greek relics, fame and gossip...and the sooner the better.

Image on fast-forward with thought on pause.

Reality TV dressed up to play the part.  Faux stars dim-wittedly  shining across our LCD and plasma screens.  A microcosmic zoo of homosapiens, sans sapien.

It's fucking madness, and we need no other word.  Prime example?  Shit anything Reality TV.

Get an anti-social hot-wired hot-head post-teen mad woman from Compton on a show with a slew of up-tight "raised-right" girls from the other side of the Mississippi and what could happen?  Hell, don't even give them keys to the place when they arrive, just stock up the patio bar and leave the side gate unlocked, what could happen?...thanks Bad Girls Club, I put that image of breaking and entering due to alcoholic encouragement to good use!...finally at least.  To show how mad we've become in our heroin-styled chase for entertainment and ratings.

Sure it was funny, but what of us?  Who are we if indulgence in such mindless and occasionally drunken madness caught on camera becomes our week-night line-up?

Voraciously entertained or born to a burrow?

Caught up in the limelight or hidden in the shadows?

Social dichotomy?

Not a bridge to nowhere, just no bridge.  Only the charred remains of the bridge already burnt.